I work for the Universe.

I am my own boss. I work for myself. Sometimes I wish my boss wasn't so lenient. Sometimes I wish she would advise me to be more structured, more linear and less 'flowy'. I would probably feel criticized and judged. I might just quit. I might argue with her and say the Universe is my boss. I work for Source and get my abundance through Source. I would tell her she is confining me and not honoring my creative, intuitive way of being. 
At times I start thinking "sensibly". I get on Craigslist and look at the "real" jobs out there. I say I should get  one of those things and live like a normal person. I get stressed when no work comes in for days and sometimes a week or more. I think about how I need to market myself, advertise, put myself out there in the mainstream more. I am a Psychic. It is not very mainstream and no one cuts coupons for psychics. 
So, I carry on with my non-linear, unstructured, faith driven way of operating a business. I trust that I will be provided for, work will come when I truly need it and that I will always be able to meet my needs. It always happens yet I am always looking for an escape route to a more dependable reality.
Nothing is truly secure, I remind myself. No job is truly safe from the changes life brings.
No, I don't have a steady paycheck. No, I can't call in sick, take a paid vacation day or snuggle up to  my savings account when I feel scarcity creep in. 
But I have an agreement with myself, the Universe and the angels that help run the show. That agreement is that I make myself available to be of service to my clients that need me. That agreement is to trust the Universe to look out for me. 
Maybe I don't need to be more structured because my structure is about being in the moment and doing what is called for at that time. Maybe I don't need to be more linear because time is merely a construct of reality which can be expanded or condensed. Maybe I don't need a boss to tell me what to do or how to do it because I listen to my heart and my Spirit to guide me. 
Maybe I value my freedom more than I do the things money can bring. It would be great to have financial security, but what is true financial security. Everything is fleeting and life gives and takes away from everyone regardless of status. 
I will just keep being me. I will keep on forgetting what time it is or what day it is or that I need to go to the grocery store so I can eat. I will keep on walking in the rain, not because I can't afford an umbrella or forgot to carry it with me, but because I don't mind getting wet or living on the edge. Life in all it's unpredictability is beautiful and mysterious. 
I don't mind that and apparently neither does my boss. 

Cherie

Snow White and the Elephants

My siblings and I are in our late 30's to early 50's. Our mother still likes to have theme birthday parties for us. Now when I say theme, I mean like Disney World. A theme park driven kind of party that becomes the center of our mother's need and desire for self expression and validation.

This year my theme was Snow White. There is no particular reason why Snow White should be a part of my birthday celebration as I am in my early 50's. Snow White has no particular significance this year or any other since I was a child. The themed party includes how the cake is decorated as well as other objects the table is decorated with relating to the theme. The birthday gift will also reflect in part the theme itself. You get the drift. 

In an attempt to find relevance to my themed driven party, I decided to request something that had value to me. I have recently become involved in the plight of elephants. I joined the David Sheldrick Foundation and donated money to help with the orphaned elephant babies that are found frequently having lost their mother's one way or another. I requested to have elephants as my theme. 

My mother said no, she had already picked the Snow White theme and was very excited about it.

There is obviously no need to remind her that is my birthday and therefore about me. It is not about me. It is about her needs that are central to the event. 

My sister had her birthday a few weeks before mine and her theme was Thumbelina, the character for a childhood book my sister enjoyed AS A CHILD. 

So, we can see there is a need for our mother to take us back to our childhood to relive those days of innocence. 

Okay, back to the story of my birthday theme this year. As long as a person has a theme party forced on them, they should have some say in what that theme is. Well, it would seem. Other siblings got in on the action and said they knew I would love to have elephants as a theme. Mind you, these are adults speaking to an adult in an attempt to persuade adult party giver to honor the request of the birthday person. Having a discussion about Snow White versus Elephants as a birthday party theme for a grown adult is obviously beyond absurd. The theme party may seem like a creative way to celebrate an adult's birthday and that would be true if said adult had a say in said party theme. 

After some persuasion and dysfunctional conversations, our mother agreed to have elephants as the theme. 

Okay, it appeared I had some control of my own life after all! What transpired the night of my birthday party at my mother's house bordered on Schizophrenia. Well, actually the borders were non existent. 

On my cake was the whole cast of Snow White including the Prince, the dwarves and the Evil Queen. 

On the table were a couple of elephant related objects as well as more Disney characters.

The theme had been stretched to include elephants but Snow White was still front and center. 

I said how beautiful the table was and how cleverly she had merged the two themes to create a delightful table. My mother was very pleased as she presented me with an elephant necklace as well as a Snow White teapot. 

There is not enough therapy in the world that will help me recover or understand the nuances of dysfunction present here. 

I am glad to be past my birthday and another sister's recent celebration with Cinderella as the theme. 

Don't even get me started on that one!!

Cherie

Hot Yoga, Cool Mind

                   

 Ten years ago I started my hot yoga journey at a local Bikram studio.

I heard that the room is heated to 105 degrees to allow the muscles to heat up which would allow one to go deeper into the asana’s (poses) without hurting oneself.

 Instead of being resistance to such an idea, I felt my body, mind and spirit eagerly wanting to get started. For many years, since I was a teenager I was plagued by chronic back and neck pain. I was in and out of the chiropractor constantly but never seemed to get anything but temporary relief.

 I have also suffered from anxiety and depression since my teenage years as well. No doubt there was a connection between the suffering in my body and the suffering in my mind.

So, off to the Bikram studio I went. Little did I know how it would change my whole life.

 The first classes of hot yoga were frighteningly torturous as my body and mind battled the external heat and the internal resistance. The heat released toxins not only in my body but also in my mind, heart and spirit. Each asana took me deeper into my physical self as well as my awareness of what lies beneath the surface of the ego.  My physical body was being challenged to release old injuries and stuck energies. My mental body was being challenged to move beyond a resistance to discomfort as well as the addiction to distractions of all kinds. My emotional body was being challenged to let go of fear, grief and other toxic, buried emotions that surfaced as I moved through the practice.

This was much more than a workout to get in shape physically. It was an exercise of finding balance on every level of my being.

 I found myself sleeping better, feeling more energy, having less pain in my body and finding moments of stillness in my mind that allowed for deeper meditation.

As I continued to practice hot yoga my chronic pain literally vanished. My anxiety and depression levels were reduced dramatically and my spirit felt much more at peace.

Whether on or off the matt I began to live the true life of a yogi. I became more mindful of the noise in my head and sought to practice being in the moment more. I became more flexible not only in my body, but my mind as well. I became more peaceful, more accepting and less distracted by the continuous noise and chaos around me.  Going deeper into my yoga practice also gave me the gift of going deeper into my very being.

 There have been many days when the mere idea of that hot room was beyond undesirable. There were many days when I had to drag myself there. I would walk in announcing I felt like a slug.  I was always met by a smiling and caring teacher welcoming me to the studio.  Maybe I wasn’t happy at that moment, but I always felt happy when I left.

My yoga studio has always been my church, my sanctuary and my community where I have felt safe and supported. There is something sacred and communal about dripping sweat on each other. It helps me to love my neighbor more.  There is something about practicing in front of giant mirrors that helps me to let go of attachments to how I look.

My practice has never been an event of athletic prowess. I was never athletic and have found yoga to be more about balancing myself internally rather than externally.

I still fall out of poses but don’t beat myself up as much as I used to. I have learned self-love and patience. I still struggle with asana’s that require physical strength and balance, but I know it is not about being a Star. It is about being the best me I can be.

 As I continue to practice hot yoga whether Bikram style or Vinyasa style, I continue to learn new things about my body, mind and spirit. I continue to work at not being attached to my ego, which tells me, I should be farther along in my practice or that my yogi neighbor is better or fit than me. I continue to quiet my mind so that I can receive what is being offered to me in my practice that day.

 The breath is directly connected to the body, the mind and the spirit. Anxiety causes the breath to stop, become shallow or to hyperventilate. Suffering in the body, mind or spirit interferes with the breath.  Our breath is Spirit moving through us. When it is blocked, Spirit cannot flow through us. The breath is the key to life, as we know. It is the key to yoga as well.

Breathing deeply into a pose allows the body to move beyond restriction and blockages. It allows the mind and emotions to become still and quiet. When a point of resistance is reached due to pain in the body or fear in the mind, we hold our breath. In the practice of yoga breathing allows one to transcend that resistance and to move through the pain. In the practice of living life, the breath allows one to transcend the resistance and move through painful or fearful moments.

 In yoga we are taught that we are our own teacher. That is also true in life. No matter how much others have to offer in wisdom and experience, there is no greater teacher than the one you see in the mirror. There is no greater gift than the one you give yourself when you reach beyond self imposed limitations and allow yourself to take care of yourself in body, mind and spirit. There is no light brighter than the light that comes from your very own soul. This is what yoga has taught me and continues to teach me.

 In that way I am a star. In that way, so are you.

Cherie Lassiter

Fitted sheets are from hell.

Fitted Sheets are inherently cursed. There has never been a time when I put the sheet on the bed that I didn't have to redo it. If I try to outsmart the fitted sheet and do it the opposite of what I would think it is, I am still wrong. Fitted sheets are from hell. There is no other explanation.